


back when I was feelin' more forgivin'

by Swag_1_Fam_a_Lam



Series: Swag_1's Tumblr Prompts [1]
Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Catfishing, M/M, Misunderstandings, Online Dating, Pining, Prompt Fill, Unrequited Love, don't catfish folks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-08-01
Packaged: 2020-07-29 00:04:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20072827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swag_1_Fam_a_Lam/pseuds/Swag_1_Fam_a_Lam
Summary: Jake can't have Charlie, that's alright he's mostly made he peace with it. And if getting over him is turning out to a harder job than he expected, then that's all part of the process. It's fine. He's fine.However, he's not sure why drunk Jake thought that making a dating profile and catfishing someone was an important step of this process, but okay.





	back when I was feelin' more forgivin'

**Author's Note:**

> here’s the prompt for the lovely anon who requested: what about online dating NOT au, where the boys both make profiles with fake names/no face pics and start talking without realizing who they're talking to? bonus points if they were already pining a bit 
> 
> I took creative license with the bye week, I know they don’t play any games but I’m also pretty sure it’s not just 5 days off completely, but fuck it, that’s what it is in this fic
> 
> Also I can't write dating profiles, hence why they are so short
> 
> Cheers!

  


If you had asked Jake a couple of years ago what his love life would look like at 22 he probably would have gone with what every hockey player at that age would say. Hot girlfriend, blonde, steady and supportive; the hockey version of the American Dream. 

A little cliche maybe, but not the worst relationship to aspire to, infinitely better than whatever hellish joke the reality of the actual situation is.

The first thing had been the realisation that the feeling in his gut whenever he looked at Charlie wasn’t just friendship or a bad breakfast burrito. But the fact that he wanted to let the other man kiss him until he couldn’t breathe, amongst other things.

Jake has spent an inordinate amount of time in the last few months wondering what it would be like to kiss Charlie. Would it be slow and steady, or would he kiss with the same intensity that he plays hockey with, all burning determination and drive? Either way, it’s always pretty fucking great in his dreams. 

And all this had been _ fine _ for the most part, not _ easy _ necessarily but Jake had been able to deal with it, he’s always been good at adapting to things. What had not been so fine, was the feelings that had developed a couple of months later, and suddenly Jake not only wanted to let Charlie completely destroy him in bed, but also take him to dinner and hold his fucking hand.

Although, this realisation wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t painfully obvious that Charlie thought of him as nothing more than a good bro, and gave no sign of changing his mind any time soon.

Charlie is something Jake can’t have, and the sooner he got that into his head the better. 

So the only reasonable conclusion had been that if he couldn’t have Charlie, then he had to get over him. What Jake hadn’t planned for however, was the mess that getting over Charlie would turn out to be.

Namely the catfishing. The catfishing is definitely the worst of it.

  


**Jack. 22**

**From Canada but currently living in Boston**

**Student athlete looking for someone to eat oreos with. **

The pictures on the profile were of his cousin that Jake had taken last time they saw each other in the off season. There was something of a family resemblance there, but not blatant enough to be noticeable unless they were standing right next to each other.

Jake hopes he never has to explain why he created the profile to anyone, because he really doesn’t have a clue if there’s anything he could say that would salvage that situation. The truth of it is, really, that he was drunk, a little bit heartbroken and it had seemed like a good idea at the time.

It was not a good idea, it wasn’t even _ close _to a good idea.

And then he’d woken up the next morning, hungover as fuck and with over thirty matches on fucking grindr of all places and it had felt - not good per say, but not terrible. So he’d just gone with it. 

Mostly it’d been harmless, chat with a few guys, flirt a little bit, ghost them completely when they said they were hockey fans. He’d got it down to almost a science, and it didn’t help him get over Charlie, but it was fun at the very least.

Then he’d met Charles. 

Charles was not what Jake had expected from grindr. There were no shitty pick up lines, no extremely forward invitations to fuck, no boring old ‘hey’s’.

  


**Charles. M**

_Oreo’s are like great and all, but Goldfish are clearly the superior snack_

**Jack**

_Goldfish are for boring people with no taste or class_

**Charles. M**

_Yes, because oreos are the height of class_

  


And despite Charles’ less than acceptable scorn of oreo’s, Jake hadn’t been able to stop talking to him. He reminded him a little bit of Charlie, the same almost immature sense of humour and focused intensity. He wasn’t interested in hockey, but he liked the same tv shows as Jake, and didn’t mind talking endlessly about them.

If Jake had met him normally, at a bar or through a friend maybe, then he would have no qualms about asking him on a date. But he didn’t, and meeting up with Charles would never be easy.

Charles had brought it up several times, the idea of meeting up and grabbing lunch, seeing if the connection they felt online was the same in person. And Jake wanted to, he did, it wouldn’t be simple of course, he’d have to admit that he had full on lied to this guy about who he was and what he did. He had watched episodes of Catfish, he knew how that usually went down. 

And then there was the matter of Charlie.

Charlie, who Jake might be a little bit in love with. He couldn’t help but feel guilty every time he talked to Charles, which was stupid because he and Charlie weren’t even _ together _, it wasn’t like he was cheating.

So he makes excuses, citing work or family events, and Charles never presses, never pushes him beyond the initial question, just changes the subject to safer ground.

  
  
  


Bye week creeps up on him, and it’s not until the notification pops up on his phone, whilst he’s playing chel with Charlie after practice a couple of weeks before the break, that he realises. 

“So we gonna do the usual over the break?” Jake says with a yawn as Charlie gets up to search the kitchen in hope of snacks.

The ‘usual’ is their bye week tradition of driving up to one of the small beach towns along the New England coastline, spending the week eating food that’s definitely not on the diet plan and paddling in the too cold winter sea. They’ve been doing it since Providence, and whilst it’s no exotic tropical vacation or city break, it’s always one of the highlights of the season - for Jake at least. 

There’s no reply from Charlie, and Jake twists over the back of the sofa to check if he’s even heard the question. To his surprise, he’s standing stock still in the doorway between the lounge and the kitchen, fingers gripping tight to the doorframe.

“Uh, Chucky, you alright?” He prompts, and Charlie turns around to face him.

“Uh, actually I was going to go visit my family in New York this year.” Charlie mumbles, and Jake gapes at him in surprise. 

“What? But we always spend bye week together.”

“I know,” And Charlie looks apologetic at least, “I just haven’t seen them in a while and I figured you wouldn’t mind.”

Jake schools his face into carefully managed neutrality, “Yeah okay, no problem, it’s always good to check on the fam, next year then eh?”

A small relieved smile creeps across Charlie’s face, “Yeah, of course.”

Jake turns back around to the tv and Charlie heads to go grab the snacks. Charlie lets him play as Boston for once in the next game, and usually that’s something Jake has to fight for, but he finds his heart isn’t really in it anymore. 

They finish up earlier than they usually would, Jake excusing himself for dinner where he might otherwise stay the night. Their goodbyes are stilted and hesitant, and he’s not sure what to say to fix it.

So he doesn’t say anything. 

  
  


When he gets home, the prospect of spending the bye week without Charlie for the first time in years looms large and real in front of him. It’s only a week, most of the guys stay in the city anyway so it’s not like he’s going to be alone, but it sure feels like it.

He loads up grindr, he needs to talk about this to someone, and as shit as it feels running to the guy he’s kind of hoping to date about the guy he’s maybe in love with, he doesn’t have a choice. It’s not like he can talk to any of his teammates about this.

  


**Jack**

_ Hey you up? _

_ Need someone to talk to _

**Charles**

_ Yeah I’m here _

_ What’s going on? _

**Jack**

_ Me and my best friend have this like, tradition right, where we spend a week on the coast doing stupid shit with each other _

_ And it’s like, the highlight of my year right and we’ve been doing it since we met _

_ But this year he decided to cancel last minute and go hang out with his family and like, that’s totally cool but I just _

**Charles**

_ I’ve got to go _

**Jack**

_ It hurts you know, like why wouldn’t he tell me before? Why just drop it on me right before we were meant to _

_ Wait what? _

_ Dude _

_ Charles? _

  


Taken aback by Charles’ sudden departure he stares at the phone for a few minutes, hoping that maybe he’d come back. 

He doesn’t.

Not only does he not come back online that evening, but the next morning too. He doesn’t reply to any of the messages Jake sends, and the little online button remains grey over the coming days as well. Eventually Jake just gives up and stops trying. 

He’d never admit it, but he spends the bye week sulking and going out getting drunk with different sets of teammates. None of whom bring up the fact that he looks like his dog just died, because they’re hockey players and conversations about feelings were all but taboo.

Good.

Jake doesn’t feel like talking anyway.

  
  
  


**Charlie** [16:09]

_ Hey I get back from NY this evening, you want to meet up tomorrow? _

**Jake** [18:45]

_ Can’t, got plans already. See you at practice tho _

**Charlie** [18:56]

_ Alright, see you monday then _

  
  


Practice on Monday is...awkward to say the least. 

He’s not actively avoiding Charlie per say, but he does arrive a little earlier than he usually might, and by the time Charlie walks in, his skates are on and he’s ready to head to the ice. They pass each other briefly as he walks out, and Jake gives him a tight smile that isn’t returned. In fact Charlie looks more concerned than anything else, and when he opens his mouth to say something, Jake pretends he didn’t see and makes his way quickly into the hallway.

He’s not running away, he’s not. 

When Charlie calls out his name as he’s heading down the hall, Jake doesn’t even need to turn to know the expression on his face. The one he pulls when he’s sad and confused, like when they lose in the playoffs, or someone talks shit about them in the media.

He doesn’t respond and heads to the rink.

It’s not like he means to make things awkward, doesn’t mean to be hostile. But between Charles disappearing off the face of the planet, Charlie ditching him over the bye week and the fact that he can’t seem to get over either of them, he just can’t help it. 

Not that that’s any excuse to be an asshole but hey, it’s been a rough week.

Luckily it’s much easier to not-avoid Charlie on the ice, as Bruce splits them into defense and forwards for much of the time. Jake’s feeling pretty confident that he’s gotten away with this whole ‘not-avoiding’ thing as he makes his way to get off the rink, except he’s stopped just as he’s about to step off the ice.

It’s Charlie, grabbing him by the sleeve of his jersey and pulling him to a stop, “Hey man, we need to talk.”

And boy has Jake heard that before, most notably when his girlfriend in freshman year had broken up with him to go date a stoner, who drove a big car and was in a shitty garage band. He’s over it. Mostly.

Him and Charlie aren’t dating though, and the look on the other man's face is apprehensive enough to make Jake’s skin crawl, “Uh, alright dude, you want to meet at your place after practice or something?”

“Yeah sounds good. I’ll uh, see you then.” 

Jake showers and changes in double time, and is out of the locker room before Charlie even steps foot in it. The drive to Charlie’s apartment is short, and he sits outside on the curb for almost half an hour waiting for Charlie to arrive. 

It’s cold out, early February usually is in Boston, but he barely even feels it.

When Charlie arrives, Jake hauls himself up to follow him into the building. They don’t talk on their way up, and even when they’re finally situated in the kitchen, on opposite sides of the counter to each other, all Charlie does is offer him a drink. Jake declines with a shake of his head. He doesn’t plan on staying long enough to warrant any drinks, he just wants to hear what Charlie has to say and then get out of there.

“So,” He says as Charlie gets himself some water, “What did you want to talk about?”

Charlie chews on his lip, fiddling with the glass in his hands as he mulls over his words, “I’m not entirely sure how to say this.”

Jake laughs wryly, “I mean at this point it might just be easier to spit it out, can hardly make things worse right?”

“Yeah,” Charlie says quietly, “Alright.”

“Come on Cheeks, just spit it out.” He encourages, not unkindly. 

“I uh, I met a guy online.” And Jake freezes, because okay, not what he thought was coming. It’s not a complete shift in his worldview, but it comes pretty damn close, “I mean I haven’t actually ‘met him’ met him yet, but we’ve been talking for a while and I really like him.”

Jake scrambles for words, trying to set aside the fact that his heart may or may not be breaking in fucking two in order to say something to wipe the worried look off Charlie’s face.

“That’s uh, wow, not what I expected - I mean good for you though! I’m glad you’ve found someone you like and I don’t care that he’s a guy - wait that came out wrong, like I care but I also-” Jake stops, he’s never been the most eloquent but even for him this is bad, “I’m terrible at this, just, me too man, I get what you’re saying.”

“You too?”

“Yeah uh, I met a guy online recently too. He’s pretty cool.” And now that he knows for sure Charlie isn’t ever going to be interested in him, he can finally get over him and meet Charles guilt free. That is, if Charles ever messages him back, which was looking to be unlikely, because apparently Jake sucks at relationships of any kind - even online ones.

“Oh that’s really great.”

“Shit I didn’t mean to like, steal your moment or whatever I just wanted you to know.” Charlie smiles a little then, and Jake feels some of the tension is his shoulders seep out.

“It’s fine. But I actually asked to talk because I wanted to show you something,” He pulls his phone from his pocket and wiggles it in the air, “If you don’t mind.”

“No, uh, sure?” Charlie slides the phone across the island and Jake grabs it catching a glimpse of the dating website on the screen, the same one that Jake uses, “Do I really want to look at this? ”

“I think so.” 

And so he does.

**Charles. M. 21**

**Currently living in Boston**

**I’m young, but I know what I want. (To tell my mom I’m meeting people in college and not just studying.)**

And technically this _ could _ mean nothing. This could just be Charlie showing Jake his account, fake name, photos and all, hoping for some advice on his situation. It could be anything like that.

It’s not.

Jake doesn’t say anything, just slides his own phone across the counter. Charlie knows the password, has known it since Jake got the phone, so he opens it without comment. Jake watches his face as he taps around, and eventually a wide grin slides across his face as he looks up at Jake.

“So we’ve both been catfishing each other?”

“I mean, I guess?” Charlie giggles, and Jake can’t help but grin back at him.

“So are you still like,” Charlie gestures to himself, “Interested? Because I know obviously I’m not what you saw on the profile, but I’m really into you and if you wanted to…””

He looks embarrassed as he explains, cheeks going redder with every word, and Jake has to choke out his answer, “Chucky are you joking? Shit I’ve been wanting to kiss you for months dude, I just never thought you were interested. And then I met this guy online, I mean it was you but I didn’t know that, and it was great but I was still hung up over you and I-”

He’s cut off abruptly by Charlie, who strides across the kitchen, reaches up to tug him down and kiss him.

It’s just a chaste press of lips, but Jake can feel every inch of where Charlie presses against him, warm and unyielding.

“Oh,” He breathes out when Charlie pulls back slightly, dazed and a little out of it.

“Yeah.” Charlie agrees, and he looks so happy that Jake can’t resist pulling him back in to kiss him again.

It’s not the most healthy start to a relationship, and they’ll have to talk later, about lies and deception because that’s what it was at its heart. But that’s for later, right now is for letting Charlie push him up against the island and kiss him senseless.

So that’s what he does and yeah he was right, it’s pretty fucking great.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Post Malone's 'Wow'
> 
> Comments and kudos are adored!
> 
> Find me on tumblr at: keep-calm-and-bergeron
> 
> Cheers!


End file.
